Part 1: Epiphany – Getting Real
privilege [priv-uh-lij, priv-lij]
(noun) a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most
It hit me in a flash one morning
in the wake of the Mega-Moving Adventure
that I am one of “those people” ….
one who has always had everything I need, everything I want –
and then some.
Not quite the silver spoon, princess & the pea variety, but definitely privileged.
….not that I comprehend that, really.
Well, of course, I KNOW. I often consider myself blessed.
However, with hindsight, my current insight
is just how much, unbeknownst and unaware,
like a sponge, I have simply absorbed this blessing of abundance;
just how deeply the cultural paradigm of “more more more”
has been inherently programmed –
my primary operating system.
Oh, I am a nice, kind, gracious, appreciative – even generous –
“those people” kinda person.
But I didn’t “get it,” – ptthh – I still don’t “get it.”
The “more is better”-ness?
‘tis in me marrow,
in the inhale-exhale of me –
(did you get that? that’s a combo of “expectation” +“entitlement”)
It is only NOW, in a staggering season of “How’d I get here?” –
How did I go from the “He-Who-Dies-With-the-Most-Toys-Wins” World
to “Less is More” World,
so many notches down on the societal success ladder?
And the thought itself, as it scrolls my mind, takes me off-guard.
Did I honestly for real just think that?
Who do I think I am?
That’s not who I want to be.
Not at all.
Do I seriously buy into midwest American cultural commercial ideal success?
Is my brain washed in stereotypical surface subliminal hypocritical truism?
Am I now “less than”?
This harsh judgmental thought is a mirror.
I listen, horrified by the loud and hideous reflection
of my inner voice.
Slowly, I emerge, bewildered
by this haze of privilege.
Gradually, I unravel layers, become lucid
gaining blurry awareness
of the materialistic consumer pride and prejudice
sugar-skewing my reality.
A switch flipped.
Ow, the light. It hurts my eyes.
Blink. My personal value system challenged.
Blink. Consciousness activated.
Question: What nudged me toward this fresh a-ha?
This pithy epiphany yet unfolding?
Answer: The dreaded process of DOWNSIZING.
Being forced by depressing circumstances to sell our home-
find something within these dwindling means….
Join me on a revolutionary voyage of discoveries.
This is the 1st installment of a series of personal revelations that are changing me. I am in process. We are all in process.
Our recent downsizing adventure has been a portal, leading me to recognize how many of us suffer and are surreptitiously afflicted by the pressure and responsibility of “too much.”
As I’ve shared my experience of sorting, purging and releasing my stuff, I have been blown away by just how deeply nearly everyone I talk to resonates with what I say. I energetically FEEL their pain each time I hear the words, “Oh my God, I need to do that!”
And I know they MEAN it with every fiber of their being – they really DO need to do it; they truly WANT to do it – but I also know that chances are, unless circumstances require it (like me) – their “too much” will only expand along with the stress and stranglehold of chronic self-deprecation.
I call the style of writing I have used for this 1st installment “PoeTRY-ing” and shall continue PoeTRY-ing to suss the meaning of my experience, to chronicle the many steps, leaps, thoughts, emotions, conclusions, resolutions and lessons unfolding; to share and expand and connect with others who need what I have to share.
Next up: A.VOID.ing.